Entry 1: Monday Oct. 7, 2002

Well this morning I started off to school with a very confident attitude. I woke up in the best mood. I haven’t been in this good of a mood in forever. However, as the day progressed my attitude slowly went down hill. It all started as I got up from my seat in my history class and made my way to the front of the room. Today was my turn to give my oral presentation on the civil war. I was very nervous about giving this presentation since I am a person who stutters. While walking to the front of the room my anxiety really began to set in. I could hear people whispering and snickering. I just know that they were talking about me and making fun of me. Everyone always makes fun of me because I stutter. They think it’s like a show, to see how long it will take me to get a word out. I tried to remain positive and began to give my presentation. I immediately started off stuttering pretty badly. People began to laugh like always, then the teacher said that if anyone else laughed she would cut their grade. This immediately stopped the laughing. After that they started to listen to me and really got into what I was saying. After a while I became more relaxed and stuttered less often. After I was through with my presentation I was still embarrassed because I stuttered so much. Throughout the day people would make fun of me and act like they had a stuttering problem. I wanted to go home by the time lunch came but I couldn’t. I stuck out the day and tried to avoid people as much as I could.

Entry 2: Thursday Oct. 10, 2002

When I woke up today I remembered, "Thursday....it’s therapy day". Sometimes I dread going to therapy simply because it makes me realize how much I do stutter. If I’ve had a rough day at school the last thing I want to do is go to therapy and be reminded of my flaws as a person. However, if I’m having a good day it seems like therapy just flies by. The therapist and I just get to talking and working together, then therapy can be kind of fun. I wish everyday was fun in therapy, maybe I would want to go then. It just seems like I get more out of therapy when I’m in a good mood. But whenever I get out of school I’m usually in a bad mood because so many people have made fun of me at school that day. I’m going to try and stay in a good mood today so I can do good in therapy this evening. However sometimes it’s hard to stay positive when people call you names as you walk down the hallways.

I am a young person who stutters.
I wonder if people notice my stuttering as much as I think they do.
I hear sirens go off when I start to stutter.
I see fireworks also.
I want to stop my stuttering but I can't.
I am a young person who stutters.

I pretend that it's all in my head.
I feel stupid sometimes because I can't control the stuttering.
I touch my therapist's hand for comfort whenever I'm having a hard time with my stuttering.
I worry that I'll never get a good job because of my stuttering problem.
I cry whenever I think about things that I might miss out on like a great job in broadcasting.
I am a young person who stutters.

I understand that I will never be cured of stuttering.
I say that the therapist is going to fix me though.
I dream often that the therapist does cure me of stuttering.
I try to face reality but sometimes it's hard.
I hope to one day never stutter but the fact remains that will never happen.
I am a young person who stutters.

Cheryl's Personal Interests Links:
My interests mostly involve shopping, so here are a few of my favorite stores.

• Abercrombie and Fitch This is my favorite place to shop! I could spend hours in this store!
• The Build-A-Bear Workshop For some reason I love teddy bears and I love to go to this store when I'm on vacation and make my own.
• Amazon.com It just seems like you can find everything you need at this one website.
• CD 315 Of course my school work always interests me.
• CD 422

Fun Links:
Here's a few things that I thought were cool.

• Funny Stuff of the Day
• Joke of the Day

SLP Resources:
Here are a few things that might be pretty helpful for a SLP or a SLP student.

• ASHA Homepage This could come in very handy for SLP's because it's designated just for SLP's and it let's you keep up on the current news. It even has a section for professionals and a section for students.
• Speech Paths This website is a community for Speech-Language Pathologist. They offer continuing education, a bookstore, and they also have their own online magazine.
• Speaking of Speech.com This site allows SLP's and teachers to communicate more effectively in order to improve communication skills in the school systems.

Research Resources:
Here are some websites that helped me out with my research on fluency disorders, or more commonly known as stuttering.

• The Valsalva Stuttering Network I was guided toward this link by the mailing list that I subscribed to. This website talks about how stuttering is linked to the Valsalva Mechanism.
• Fluency Master This site talks about a device that is suppose to help people who stutter actually stop stuttering. The device looks like a hearing aid and fits in your ear.
• National Stuttering Association This is a website devoted to people who stutter, thier families, and also professionals. This organization can serve as a support group for individuals who stutter, as well as, their families.
• Kids Health on Self-Esteem This website provided me with some insite on self-esteem of children and also gave me a nice definition.
• Kids Health on Stuttering This website also provided me with some insight on stuttering, this website also has some cool links that kids can check out.