This week I once again tried to strech my assignments out over a few days. I would have to say that I failed miserably at this task considering I have done all of my assignments today. I do have some good reasons why I was delayed though. I had some exams this week that I had to study for. Also, at the last minute my boyfriend decided that he wanted to take me out of town for a couple of days. I'm glad I went because he proposed to me and I'm now engaged. So I've had a pretty full week, which left my homework for today.

I did like the assignment of reviewing others work and giving them feedback on it. It let me see what others are doing and compare my work the theirs. I really liked viewing others work. Now I know that I'm at the same place everyone else is.

I also really enjoyed doing the genre's. I was really dreading doing them but once I started working on them I really got into it. I really allowed myself to think like the client. This let me get more into my research because now I feel like it's personal.

My goal for next week is to try once again to strectch my assignments over several days. I guess we'll find out at the end of next week if it worked or not.

Entry 1: Monday Oct. 7, 2002

Well this morning I started off to school with a very confident attitude. I woke up in the best mood. I haven’t been in this good of a mood in forever. However, as the day progressed my attitude slowly went down hill. It all started as I got up from my seat in my history class and made my way to the front of the room. Today was my turn to give my oral presentation on the civil war. I was very nervous about giving this presentation since I am a person who stutters. While walking to the front of the room my anxiety really began to set in. I could hear people whispering and snickering. I just know that they were talking about me and making fun of me. Everyone always makes fun of me because I stutter. They think it’s like a show, to see how long it will take me to get a word out. I tried to remain positive and began to give my presentation. I immediately started off stuttering pretty badly. People began to laugh like always, then the teacher said that if anyone else laughed she would cut their grade. This immediately stopped the laughing. After that they started to listen to me and really got into what I was saying. After a while I became more relaxed and stuttered less often. After I was through with my presentation I was still embarrassed because I stuttered so much. Throughout the day people would make fun of me and act like they had a stuttering problem. I wanted to go home by the time lunch came but I couldn’t. I stuck out the day and tried to avoid people as much as I could.

Entry 2: Thursday Oct. 10, 2002

When I woke up today I remembered, "Thursday....it’s therapy day". Sometimes I dread going to therapy simply because it makes me realize how much I do stutter. If I’ve had a rough day at school the last thing I want to do is go to therapy and be reminded of my flaws as a person. However, if I’m having a good day it seems like therapy just flies by. The therapist and I just get to talking and working together, then therapy can be kind of fun. I wish everyday was fun in therapy, maybe I would want to go then. It just seems like I get more out of therapy when I’m in a good mood. But whenever I get out of school I’m usually in a bad mood because so many people have made fun of me at school that day. I’m going to try and stay in a good mood today so I can do good in therapy this evening. However sometimes it’s hard to stay positive when people call you names as you walk down the hallways.

I am a young person who stutters.
I wonder if people notice my stuttering as much as I think they do.
I hear sirens go off when I start to stutter.
I see fireworks also.
I want to stop my stuttering but I can't.
I am a young person who stutters.

I pretend that it's all in my head.
I feel stupid sometimes because I can't control the stuttering.
I touch my therapist's hand for comfort whenever I'm having a hard time with my stuttering.
I worry that I'll never get a good job because of my stuttering problem.
I cry whenever I think about things that I might miss out on like a great job in broadcasting.
I am a young person who stutters.

I understand that I will never be cured of stuttering.
I say that the therapist is going to fix me though.
I dream often that the therapist does cure me of stuttering.
I try to face reality but sometimes it's hard.
I hope to one day never stutter but the fact remains that will never happen.
I am a young person who stutters.