Entry 1: Monday Oct. 7, 2002

Well this morning I started off to school with a very confident attitude. I woke up in the best mood. I haven’t been in this good of a mood in forever. However, as the day progressed my attitude slowly went down hill. It all started as I got up from my seat in my history class and made my way to the front of the room. Today was my turn to give my oral presentation on the civil war. I was very nervous about giving this presentation since I am a person who stutters. While walking to the front of the room my anxiety really began to set in. I could hear people whispering and snickering. I just know that they were talking about me and making fun of me. Everyone always makes fun of me because I stutter. They think it’s like a show, to see how long it will take me to get a word out. I tried to remain positive and began to give my presentation. I immediately started off stuttering pretty badly. People began to laugh like always, then the teacher said that if anyone else laughed she would cut their grade. This immediately stopped the laughing. After that they started to listen to me and really got into what I was saying. After a while I became more relaxed and stuttered less often. After I was through with my presentation I was still embarrassed because I stuttered so much. Throughout the day people would make fun of me and act like they had a stuttering problem. I wanted to go home by the time lunch came but I couldn’t. I stuck out the day and tried to avoid people as much as I could.

Entry 2: Thursday Oct. 10, 2002

When I woke up today I remembered, "Thursday....it’s therapy day". Sometimes I dread going to therapy simply because it makes me realize how much I do stutter. If I’ve had a rough day at school the last thing I want to do is go to therapy and be reminded of my flaws as a person. However, if I’m having a good day it seems like therapy just flies by. The therapist and I just get to talking and working together, then therapy can be kind of fun. I wish everyday was fun in therapy, maybe I would want to go then. It just seems like I get more out of therapy when I’m in a good mood. But whenever I get out of school I’m usually in a bad mood because so many people have made fun of me at school that day. I’m going to try and stay in a good mood today so I can do good in therapy this evening. However sometimes it’s hard to stay positive when people call you names as you walk down the hallways.